i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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