Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize