Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
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