that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
should my penis look like a turkey
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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