Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
