I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize