that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
