Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I didn't notice because vodka
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize