Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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