I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
My penis needs a shock collar
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
