DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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