He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
