my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
