thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
