God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
In America we eat man semen.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
