have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
