i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
