lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
