i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
high people should be assigned attendants
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
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