no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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