The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
