apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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