the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
