So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
