I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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