Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
