Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
