i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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