Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
