I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
