I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
