Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
