On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
