i already hear my dad disowning me
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize