please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
