why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
