I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
