Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
