come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize