woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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