Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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