high people should be assigned attendants
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
