New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
