wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
