I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
