He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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