Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
