so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
