I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
