Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
