i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
