Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Randomize
