Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
