The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
