I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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