New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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