does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
