And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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