that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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