dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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