I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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