i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
